there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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