I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
