The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We're too hungover to prance.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
