After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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