the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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