Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
