I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
