he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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