Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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