dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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