i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
