i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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