Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
