I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just tell him i said nine months
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
