While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
