Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
