He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
