whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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