Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
