I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
