I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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