Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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