It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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