That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
