he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Randomize
