Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
