From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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