Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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