dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
