your thong is hanging out like whoa
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
