Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think your dad took our porno
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
