Banned from zoo.
Again?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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