So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
