You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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