I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I think my moral compass just broke
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
