READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
