It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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