smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
