Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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