I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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