At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
