And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
