Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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