So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
