I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
there is glitter all over my balls
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
