Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
50% drunk capacity currently
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
