but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you win again, gameday.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
