In the future we'll all be gay
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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