'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
