I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
