Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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