Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
