dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
