he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
