Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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