You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
