we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
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